I have just a little bit of time to write this review as my car is waiting. After a hard day of watching the market and polishing the bronze statue of myself that sits in the foyer of my multimillion-dollar penthouse office, I do enjoy stroking a few putts.
At five sharp, my executive assistant, Issabella, comes in with toasted bread, Foie Gras, and a snifter of Cointreau. I enjoy the light snack as she removes my putter from its wooden case (with my name etched on the outside) and puts it together.
The shaft of the putter is crafted in Brazilian cherry wood and matches the cup like a bottle of Dom Perignon compliments my caviar. She will then polish the brass and paddled handle before presenting me with my putting gloves and the putter. She will then take five paces, not six and not four, but five paces and place the cup on the floor beside the stuffed lion that I shot in the Amazon.
I will stroke a putt towards the cup. If the putt does not go in, Issabella will collect the ball and bring it back to me. If the putt does go in, she shall applaud with quelled vigor, authentic yet not overstated.
I must leave you now, for my limousine idles and my soul hungers for the opera.
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